i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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