just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
