its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
