Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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