my shit smells like andre
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
