I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
