She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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