I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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