I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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