wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
