i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
