Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
