Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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