just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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