Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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