Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize