i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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