He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
