I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
