I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
