This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
