I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just want nice things and good sex
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize