Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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