Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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