drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize