Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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