i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
