I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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