Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
