And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just cropdusted the office
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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