Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
