plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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