It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
