it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
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She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
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Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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