I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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