you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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