I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
