Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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