you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize