I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
what day is it and did you see me today?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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