Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
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