Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
