I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
