Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
