And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
