apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
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I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
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Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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