Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
