Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
