she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
