I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Randomize
