The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
