they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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