they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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