You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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