Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize