end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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