i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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