then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
