how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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