Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
