I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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