This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
